A friend once told me, when I was in the midst of defending myself, to give myself “room to grow.” She was right. By insisting that I was blameless, I was ignoring the chance I had to really grow from the experience. If I were really strong, courageous, and confident, I wouldn’t have been so afraid to admit that I might have made a mistake, or that I might have handled that situation better. Her words stuck with me and allowed me to admit my shortcomings to myself and others. She reminded me that growth was possible, and that insisting that I was perfect was the weak thing to do.

Going to therapy is also brave move towards growth. It shows that we have the courage to honestly look at where we are and clear the path to where we want to go. Sometimes it is scary or embarrassing to admit that we are not perfect, but those around us already know we’re not. It is OUR weakness or flaw (albeit a very human one) when we insist that we are. Even the bravest and most insightful among us is limited to their own perspective, and working through our issues with a trained professional can be much more effective than trying to do it all on our own.

With my clients, I do my best to make our sessions count – to join forces with them towards transformation with encouragement, straight talk, and training in the most effective therapeutic interventions. Therapy can be hard work, but it can bring tremendous rewards.

Rose Hickman Smith is a psychotherapist in private practice in Marina del Rey and virtually throughout California. She can be reached through the “Contact Me” link on this website.